{"id":10672,"date":"2015-01-12T11:19:15","date_gmt":"2015-01-12T11:19:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/?p=10672"},"modified":"2015-01-16T10:02:49","modified_gmt":"2015-01-16T10:02:49","slug":"feminism-is-for-men-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/2015\/01\/feminism-is-for-men-too\/","title":{"rendered":"Feminism is for men too"},"content":{"rendered":"

Feminism is an emotive term that many people \u2013 men and women \u2013 don\u2019t want to be associated with.\u00a0<\/span>That\u2019s just because its meaning has been lost through so much petty squabbling<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Girl

\u00a9 Sunny Studio \/ Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n

T<\/span>he term feminism<\/i> has a bad rap in some arenas. When it comes to discussing it, many articles in the Western media begin with the question \u201cwhy is feminism a dirty word?\u201d \u2013 and there is good reason for this. Speaking with young women in the UK you will often hear that yes, they believe in equality, but \u201cI\u2019m not a feminist\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe problem with feminism isn\u2019t with the idea itself, but everything that surrounds it. From the misunderstanding of what the term actually means, to the idea that it is only for women,\u201d writes Jack Fletcher in The Huffington Post<\/i>. \u201cIn fact, feminism is a threat to the way things have been for centuries, one which affects the demographic I belong to particularly: the white, straight, middle-class male.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The dictionary definition of feminism states its aim as achieving equality between men and women. But there is a distinct difference between the dictionary definition of feminism and how it is perceived and sometimes practised in the real world. As with all groups, feminists encompass different schools of thought, from extremists to those who loudly advocate for the cause without actually understanding its premise. For instance, a graduate I met in 2014, who identified as a feminist rather vocally, often went headfirst into gender-related discussions by loudly announcing: \u201cWomen are better than men\u201d. That is not what feminism is.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even in its heyday, feminism was never that popular, as playwright and pastor Kristine Holmgren writes in The Guardian<\/i>: \u201cMake no mistake, the work we did to bring about social change was done at great personal sacrifice. Every time a woman rose to speak for freedom of choice, a personal reputation was ruined. Even so, my generation of women thought nothing of defending the rights of other women at the price of our own futures.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

For many people, feminism is synonymous with pedantry, misandry and overreaction. In the West many think that we reached and then overshot equality, with women instead receiving preferential treatment.<\/span><\/p>\n

This perception of feminism as driving forward rights for women while crushing men underfoot has led to the creation of various men\u2019s rights groups, some of which raise perfectly valid points and draw attention to men\u2019s interests in fields where they may be compromised. For instance, UK organisation Fathers for Justice advocates men\u2019s rights for access to their children while Whiteribbon.org raises awareness on domestic violence regardless of gender and age.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe are living in a world of huge double standards when it comes to domestic violence and our men are on the bad end of the deal,\u201d reads a post on Whiteribbon.org. \u201cWhen a man commits domestic violence he is punished very harshly. But when a woman commits domestic violence she gets cheers, chuckles or is all too often ignored.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The idea that violence against men is not taken seriously is a common theme for those advocating men\u2019s rights.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMale victims are almost invisible to the authorities such as the police, who rarely can be prevailed upon to take the man\u2019s side,\u201d John Mays of men\u2019s rights campaign group Parity told The Guardian<\/i>. \u201cTheir plight is largely overlooked by the media, in official reports and in government policy, for example in the provision of refuge places \u2013 7,500 for females in England and Wales but only 60 for men.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In 25 per cent of reported incidents of partner abuse, police took no action.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s important to remember that domestic violence, the type of abuse where you are living in utter fear of your partner, isn\u2019t a one-off incident: it\u2019s about ongoing and repeated violence. Women make up 89 per cent of those who experience four or more incidents of domestic violence,\u201d writes Polly Neate, chief executive of the UK\u2019s national women\u2019s domestic violence charity Women\u2019s Aid, in The Telegraph.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe have been told by local Women\u2019s Aid federation organisations that they are funded locally on the basis they have to provide services to male victims, and they are rarely used despite putting time and money into promoting this. This is happening at the same time that female victims and their children are being turned away because of a lack of space and funding,\u201d says Neate, while emphasising that domestic violence is never acceptable, regardless of who it\u2019s happening to.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt still surprises me that often when I am talking to someone about the lifesaving work that we do at Women\u2019s Aid, the response that I usually get is \u2018but what about the men?\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But the problem with many, if not the majority, of men\u2019s rights groups is that they partake in a wilfully blind critique of feminism, using the movement as a scapegoat for their problems while ignoring the fact that we still live in a patriarchy. It is the reaction of a privileged group to having some of those privileges officially revoked.<\/span><\/p>\n

The National Coalition for Men (NCFM) in the USA, for example, argues that sex discrimination affects males as well as females. Coalition member Alan Millard wrote the following about the 2014 Santa Barbara shooting carried out by 22-year-old Elliot Rodger, who had released a YouTube manifesto which outlined his resentment of women, racial minorities and interracial couples prior to the shooting; had been seeing a therapist since the age of eight; and had been consistently bullied by classmates since ninth grade.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFemale bullying of young men\/older boys is a problem \u2013 commonly conveyed through rejection and humiliation in movies, other media, and is evident on college campuses \u2013 just as any other form of bullying,\u201d writes Millard. \u201cThe counterpart hatred of men is the cause of [Rodger\u2019s] condition, no different than the other forms of bullying that have resulted in school killings. Women are commonly cruel in rejecting males, and why is this female counterpart to the issue not acknowledged and addressed?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSome feminist sources even try to say in response that males are taught they are entitled to sex with women. However, this is as ridiculous as saying women are taught they need food to be healthy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Too often, instead of working through a discussion, people become defensive for the simple reason that they feel they are being targeted or personally reprimanded \u2013 whichever side of the gender-rights fence they are on. And then the conversation devolves into a contest of \u201cwho\u2019s more oppressed?\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

A male student told The Guardian<\/i> in 2012: \u201cI feel like \u2018feminism\u2019 is often used as a cloak for thinly veiled attacks on men. Many \u2013 not all \u2013 people who identify themselves as feminists seem to be self-serving and employ double standards. Feminism doesn\u2019t seem to be about equal rights any more. Women, legally speaking, have equal rights. Discrimination still exists but the feminist movement has moved to a point where the aim isn\u2019t equality, it\u2019s empowerment. They want to gain power and \u2018punish\u2019 men.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The NotAllMen hashtag that was popular in 2013-14, which had at its heart responses to the effect of \u201cwell I<\/i> don\u2019t do those things\u201d, was a prime example of people taking an immediate defensive stance against what they saw as personal confrontation instead of listening and participating in a discussion about how our society treats different groups.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFeminists pretend to be for equality, I never heard them fight against MGM [male genital mutilation], while they love to pretend men have full rights over their own bodies,\u201d reads a post on Men\u2019s Rights Halifax, a Nova Scotian men\u2019s rights group, attacking feminists rather than the issue of MGM that it claims to address.<\/span><\/p>\n

Laura Bates wrote in The Guardian<\/i> about three recent instances of gender inequality and the reactions to them: \u201cEach features somebody grappling with the accusation of inequality and, instead of reflecting on that problem, seeking to blame or ridicule the voices pointing it out. Flailing wildly against feminism for vocally pointing out sexual violence and gender inequality is a last-gasp attempt to retain a privilege that is being threatened. And these ridiculous arguments only start to come out when that privilege begins to be eroded \u2013 in other words, this backlash is a sign that things are changing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that women\u2019s rights groups are innocent in taking similarly defensive stances \u2013 far from it. It\u2019s a problem that comes with subscribing to any set of ideals. But here\u2019s the thing: we live in a society that was designed to put men first. Whether or not a person is wilfully sexist, they were still born into a society where one gender \u2013 or race or social class \u2013 is held in greater regard. We have all been influenced by the structure into which we were born and, while this is gradually changing, things are by no means equal. <\/span><\/p>\n

Globally, women \u201chold top political offices, lead major companies, wield considerable economic power as entrepreneurs and consumers, and are even, as a group, better educated than their male peers,\u201d reads A Wake-Up Call for Female Leadership in Europe, a study by McKinsey and Company. \u201cYet in most European countries, women are employed at rates far lower than men are. They are also underrepresented in positions of leadership: women continue to be conspicuously absent in Europe\u2019s parliaments and board rooms.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Journalist and radio talk show host Rebecca Juro told The Huffington Post<\/i> that she knew her transition from male to female was finally visible when men began looking down on her.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI used to say that the way I know I\u2019m being accepted as a woman is when the average men\u2019s estimation of my intelligence drops by 50 per cent,\u201d said Juro. \u201cWhen I was living as male, I didn\u2019t have a problem with acceptance. I didn\u2019t have a problem being respected on the job or any of those kinds of things. And then when I transitioned, I lost what people call \u2018male privilege\u2019, which is a certain level of acceptance and respect you get just because you are a male.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She said that when she worked in retail, pre-transition, her authority was rarely questioned.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI would go in and say, \u2018Okay, here\u2019s how we\u2019re gonna do this\u2019, and there was never a question. There was never a problem,\u201d she says. \u201cWhen I started working as a woman a few years later [people were like], \u2018Well, wait a minute \u2013 what about this and what about that?\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I once heard someone explain it like this: imagine a city where the roads are built to accommodate cars. Now, there are cars and bicycles using these roads, but, because the infrastructure was built around cars\u2019 needs, it is significantly harder for cycles to get around. Narrowing the roads by painting in cycle paths is the quick and easy solution because it doesn\u2019t require much of an alteration to the existing system \u2013 which is still based around the car \u2013 but what is needed is a complete restructuring of the infrastructure so that both groups are accommodated for based upon their own needs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well-known American feminist, ethicist and psychologist Carol Gilligan described the problem of how we raise girls and boys in an interview with Feminism.com:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPatriarchy is used now as sort of a code word to mean men\u2019s oppression of women \u2013 it\u2019s not! It\u2019s a system, a hierarchy where hieros means priest and where the priest (the hieros<\/i>) is a father (pater<\/i>). It\u2019s an order of living where a father, or some fathers control access to truth, or salvation, or knowledge,\u201d says Gilligan. \u201cAnd it affects men as well as women.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy research shows it affects men at a much earlier age \u2013 the pressure on little boys to internalise a patriarchal voice occurs around five. And the pressure \u2013 the shaming of boys \u2013 \u2018you\u2019re gay, you\u2019re a girl, you\u2019re a mama\u2019s boy\u2019 \u2013 it\u2019s almost like a strategy of the patriarchy to characterise it as though men are the victors and women are the losers. It\u2019s a system of oppression that cuts off everyone from parts of themselves. It makes a line between men and women, and between men and boys, between men and children, between some men and other men.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In order to change the way that we treat one another, we must first become aware of who we are. There is a big problem with just labelling oneself as a something-ist, because once this happens the something-ism becomes part of one\u2019s identity. As a result, any discussion of the values involved in the concept can be perceived as a personal affront, an attack on who that person is. Immediately there is a personal and collective expectation that, as a member of a group, you represent the values of that group.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of continuing to exist as a person with millions of individual ideas, one\u2019s identity becomes compartmentalised into set parts \u2013 feminist, capitalist, vegetarian \u2013 each of which have their own assumed beliefs and ideas. What this means is that it\u2019s easy for a person to find themselves defending issues that they don\u2019t personally agree with simply on a misguided principle. Everything else becomes the evil \u2018other\u2019 that should not even be considered.<\/span><\/p>\n

This submergence in group identity in which the loudest rule can easily lead to a distortion of ideas or a loss of personal perspective. It becomes harder and harder to identify the flaws in one\u2019s ideology and the urge to defend such flaws increases. And this is a problem. <\/span><\/p>\n

But if we look past the \u2018-isms\u2019 it becomes evident that so many of our problems stem from an inability to approach people as individuals. Our problem is that people, all people, are still born into roles that are defined by factors such as gender. Tony Porter, founder of violence prevention organisation A Call to Men, said the following about his experience growing up in a set of expectations as a man: <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI grew up in New York City, between Harlem and the Bronx. Growing up as a boy, we were taught that men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous, dominating \u2013 no pain, no emotions, with the exception of anger \u2013 and definitely no fear; that men are in charge, which means women are not; that men lead, and you should just follow and do what we say; that men are superior; women are inferior; that men are strong; women are weak; that women are of less value, property of men, and objects, particularly sexual objects. I\u2019ve later come to know that to be the collective socialisation of men, better known as the \u2018man box\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSee this man box has in it all the ingredients of how we define what it means to be a man. Now I also want to say, without a doubt, there are some wonderful, wonderful, absolutely wonderful things about being a man. But at the same time, there\u2019s some stuff that\u2019s just straight up twisted, and we really need to begin to challenge, look at it and really get in the process of deconstructing, redefining, what we come to know as manhood.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, it isn\u2019t only men who grow up into predetermined roles \u2013 we\u2019re all familiar with the problems women face with societal expectations of beauty, demeanour, intelligence, submission and so on. But what is a major problem that is so often overlooked is that women are still so frequently seen as victims with no capacity for decision-making, people who are only capable of reacting to the actions of men. Even Emma Watson\u2019s recent speech to the UN on behalf of the women\u2019s rights organisation He For She illustrated such thinking:<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes, but I can see that they are, and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don\u2019t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted, women won\u2019t feel compelled to be submissive. If men didn\u2019t control, women wouldn\u2019t need to be controlled.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Such thinking, proliferated even by well-intentioned gender rights groups, is harmful and takes power away from women by renouncing their autonomy and placing the blame on men. All this does is feed the feeling of confrontation and hostility that so many people already feel when they hear the word \u2018feminism\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ingrained gender roles need to be identified and we must work to iron them out, starting with our children. We can\u2019t continue to teach children that to \u2018man up\u2019 is strong and to be \u2018a girl\u2019 is weak. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJoin healthy resistance on the part of children, so it doesn\u2019t go on for another generation,\u201d says Carol Gilligan. \u201cAnd doing that means becoming active in making the world one in which the capacities that are part of our human nature, that is, the relational capacities that are necessary for democracy and peace, can be educated, developed, flourish.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd the children will change us \u2013 and that\u2019s the part of doing this for the children, that\u2019s the beauty of it, it\u2019s almost built into the life cycle. If you really are serious about raising a healthy child, psychologically, you have to become an activist now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Feminism is an emotive term that many people \u2013 men and women \u2013 don\u2019t want to be associated with.\u00a0That\u2019s just because its meaning has been lost through so much petty squabbling The term feminism has a bad rap in some arenas. When it comes to discussing it, many articles in the Western media begin with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10673,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[188,35,9,197],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10672"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10673"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10672"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10672\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10674,"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10672\/revisions\/10674"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10672"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10672"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.global-briefing.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10672"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}